The Twelve Days of Doctor Who
by Web of Obsidian
Summary: What happens when all the Doctors get together for a Christmas sing-along? What do you think? Insanity!


**Strange as a Doctor Who episode with all the craziness involved. Enjoy!**

**Obsidian**

Doctor Number 10 sat in a semi-circle with ten other Doctors, all grumbling and griping to each other about when this would be over with, and Doctor Number 1 was saying that they were all going to be reported to the High Council for this. They sat in a room in 11's TARDIS, which had a fireplace, a Christmas tree, and decorations everywhere.

He leaned over to 5, who was sitting next to him.

"D'you know when 12 or unlucky 13 is going to show up so we can finish?" 5 shrugged.

"How should I know? That's over six regenerations ahead of me!"

"Well, I wouldn't know either," he shot back, then glanced over at his next incarnation, who was sitting next to 6. The man was younger than 5 looked, had ridiculous hair, and looked like a geography professor. A _bowtie,_ honestly!

Everyone looked up as a man wearing a green plaid suit which clashed violently with his flaming ginger hair rushed in, out of breath. With a flash of gold, a woman in Victorian-era dress appeared next to him, rolling her eyes. 10 whooped with joy.

"I'm _ginger_! Yes!" 11 stared at the woman, gaping.

"Hello!" the newcomer said. "Sorry I'm late, TARDIS was being finicky as usual." The woman glared at him, and he cringed away slightly. "Don't kill me!" She smiled, then sat down next to 11, and Mystery Man followed suit. Doing a quick headcount, he grinned. "Well, then! Let's start!"

Everyone looked expectantly at 1, who sighed and stood up.

"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me: A TARDIS in a pear tree!"

"No, no, it can't be a pear tree!" 10 cried in horror. Everyone stared, bar 11 and the two newcomers.

"And why not, young man?" 1 asked sternly.

"Blimey, I was strict back then," he muttered, then spoke up. "Pears are _evil_. Evil, evil pears."

"Be worse if it were beans," 11 piped up.

"Pears are perfectly fine!"

"No, they aren't! Change it to a banana tree? Please? For the sake of my sanity!"

"You've already lost your sanity," 9 grumbled.

"Fine," 1 huffed. "It's a banana tree." 2 stood up.

"On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: two new recorders, and a TARDIS in a banana tree!"

"What was I thinking with those recorders?" 4 mused.

"On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Three shiny Bessies, two new recorders, and a TARDIS in a banana tree!"

"I really loved that car..." 4 started to stand, then abruptly sat back down again.

"Please get off my scarf. You are standing on it." 1 looked down.

"Oh, sorry about that."

"On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Four scarves a'trailing-"

"Never mind the recorders, what were _you_ thinking with those scarves?" 5 aksed.

"-three shiny Bessies, two new recorders, and a TARDIS in a banana tree!"

"On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Five bags of jelly babies!"

"Oi," 9 groaned.

"Four scarves a'trailing, three shiny Bessies, two new recorders, and a TARDIS in a banana tree!" 6 stood up and smoothed down his outrageously colored jacket.

"On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Six colorful jackets-"

"I don't know what I was thinking with the old man clothes, or the recorders, or the car, or the scarves, or the celery, or the American accent, or the ears-"

"Hey!"

"-but I really wonder what was going on in my mind when I picked out those jackets," 10 finished.

"Are you questioning my fashion sense?"

"Yes, I am questioning _our_ fashion sense. Something has been off in every single regeneration. You, for example, give people seizures every time they look at you!"

"It's not that bad!"

"Oh, yes it is!"

"Shut up. Five bags of jelly babies!"

"Does anybody want a jelly baby?" 4 said, pulling out a bag of jelly babies.

"No," 2 replied shortly.

"Four scarves a'trailing, three shiny Bessies, two new recorders, and a TARDIS in a banana tree!"

"My turn!" 7 called. "On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Seven crazy sweaters-"

"Never mind the jackets, pretty boy," 9 said to 10. "I want to know why I wore all the question marks."

"-six colorful jackets, five bags of jelly babies!"

"Do you want a jelly baby?" 4 asked, turning to 1.

"No thank you, I'm quite alright."

"Four scarves a'trailing, three shiny Bessies, two new recorders, and a TARDIS in a banana tree!"

"Go on, 8!" 11 called out. 9 was shaking his head in sympathy for himself.

"On the eigth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Eight sonic screwdrivers-"

A cheer rose up from the group for their beloved sonics. Idris just smiled.

"-seven crazy sweaters, six colorful jackets, five bags of jelly babies!"

"No," 3 said before 4 could even open his mouth.

"Four scarves a'trailing, three shiny Bessies, two new recorders, and a TARDIS in a banana tree!"

"Go on, future me!" 8 grinned. 9 blinked. It was just after the end of the Time War, so he really didn't want to sing...

"On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Nine bunches of bananas-"

"Bananas are good!"

"You have an obsession."

"-eight sonic screwdrivers-"

Another cheer.

"-seven crazy sweaters, six colorful jackets, five bags of jelly babies!"

"If I take one, will you stop asking?" 5 said wearily.

"No."

"Four scarves a'trailing, three shiny Bessies, two new recorders, and a TARDIS, in a banana tree! 10. Go." 10 rolled his eyes.

"On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Ten non-life-threatning reunions-"

"Oh, if only!"

"That would be... fun."

"Agreed."

"-nine bunches of bananas-"

"I didn't mean to blow up the factory, I swear! Swear to Rassi-No, no not him. Swear to Gallifrey, I didn't!"

"Suuure."

"-eight sonic screwdrivers, seven crazy sweaters, six colorful jackets, five, bags of jelly babies!"

4 actually stayed silent.

"Four scarves a'trailing, three shiny Bessies, two new recorders and a TARDIS in a banana tree!"

11 stood up with a child-like grin on his face, and Idris wondered what on Earth her Thief was going to do next.

"On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Eleven insanely cool bright red fezzes to drive my friends crazy with-"

"Hey, that doesn't fit!" most everyone protested.

"I am the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm! I can sing 'eleven insanely cool bright red-'"

"OKAY! Okay. Fine. Go ahead."

"Thank you. Ten non-life-threatning reunions, nine bunches of bananas, well anything is better than beans, eight sonic screwdrivers, seven crazy sweaters, six colorful jackets, five bags of jelly babies! And you know what? I think I'll take one."

4 grinned and tossed him the bag, which was promptly stolen by 2.

"Four scarves a'trailing, three shiny Bessies, two new recorders, and a TARDIS in a banana tree!"

The final Doctor stood up, straightened his green plaid coat, and cleared his throat. As ecstactic as 10 and 11 were that they would eventually be ginger, they were both thinking the same thing.

_'Our fashion sense is still lost.'_

"On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me..." he started slowly. "Twelve Doctors singing-"

"Here, here!"

"-eleven insanely cool fezzes to drive my friends carzy with-"

"Fezzes. Are. Cool," 11 proclaimed to all the weird looks he was recieving.

"-ten non-life-threatning reunions-"

"The Daleks always seem to invade whenever I talk to someone..."

"-nine bunches of bananas-"

"Yummy."

"-eight sonic screwdrivers-"

"I _still_ can't believe mine got fried!"

"-seven crazy sweaters-"

"Question marks galore!"

"-six colorful jackets-"

"They're a hazard to the general public!"

"Lies!"

"Just the honest truth!"

"-five bags of jelly babies!" 4 looked at 2.

"Please can I have my jelly babies back?"

"No."

"_Please_?"

"Fine, but if you don't stop asking everybody if they want a jelly baby, I will take all of your jelly babies and give them to the Daleks!"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Four scarves a'trailing, three shiny Bessies, two new recorders..." Everybody joined in on the last line, while Idris' fingertips glowed golden.

"AND A TARDIS IN A BANANA TREEEE!" Idris snapped her fingers, and a huge pile of presents appeared under the tree. Several of the Doctors jumped. 3 picked up the closest present, looked at the tag, and handed it to 1.

"It's for you." 1 took it, tore the paper off, and a large metal tree stood in front of him, glinting in the firelight. Metal bananas hung off the tree, and a miniature TARDIS was nested in the branches. 1 blinked.

4 reached over and picked up a package, then tossed it to 5. 5 opened it and pulled out several large bags of jelly babies.

"We... We all got what we wanted for Christmas!" he said in shock. Everyone surged forwards to open their gifts.

10 minutes later, 1 was admiring his banana tree, 2 was playing the recorder badly, 3 was driving around with Bessie Mark II, and people were trying not to get hit, 4 was happily admiring his long, multicolored scarf, which was three times as long as the other scarves he owned. 5 was making sure no one stole his jelly babies, 6 was wearing a new jacket that was more colorful then the last, 7 had a sweater with question marks that spun around, 8 was failing to juggle the screwdrivers he had gotten (all in different colors), 9 was leaning back happily in an armchair, eating a banana, 10 was getting everything he had brought with him to go to a reunion that had been planned (his gift was a time, date, and coordinates in which no one would attack), 11 was running around and dropping fezzes on peoples heads while wearing one himself, and Ginger was sitting next to Idris with his arm around her, watching everything with a smile on his face.

"So, Idris. I don't suppose you'll tell me where you got all of these gifts?"

"There are twelve TARDISes here, each with too much stuff for our own good. Where do you think I got everything?"

"Well, will you tell me why you gave everyone presents?"

"I _am_ your true love, Doctor. I thought you knew that!" Ginger laughed heartily.

"Well, I got my present, and we should probably be leaving soon."

"Yes, we should. Twelve Doctors singing... Any reason why you chose that?"

"Nope."

"But we really should leave. Jenny wasn't happy at having to stay in the TARDIS for fear of messing up the timeline, and neither was Donna. River didn't mind, although I dread to think what state I'll be in when we get back." Ginger laughed again. 11 walked over, dropped a fez on both of them and grinned.

"I'll be going, got things to do, but I wanted to say goodbye to... erm, TARDIS here." Idris smiled.

"See you soon, my Thief." He hugged her briefly, then turned to Ginger.

"Goodbye... Actually, you never told us what incarnation you were. 12 or 13?" Idris and Ginger glanced at each other, then nodded.

"14, my good fellow!" With a puff of gold, Idris and 14 had disappeared into another TARDIS, and 11 was left standing there shaking his head, and a smile on his face.

"Of course, of course." Then, being the Doctor, he needed to go and do something slightly random, and he did so. Jumping into one of the other Bessies, he started driving along next to 3, making everyone else stay _way_ out of their way.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" he shouted, and everyone responded the same.

**...Don't know where this came from. Hope you like it! I will now channel my inner 11th Doctor.**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

**The Christmas special is on in 50 minutes. YAY!**


End file.
